


Order Made

by Evieonic



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Ash Lynx Deserves Better, Ash Lynx Deserves Happiness, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji in Love, Entity like character, M/M, Major Spoilers, Songfic, Spoilers, Would you believe me if i said i have never watching Banana fish?, fuck him, i don't like himm, let's murder Dino, lets all go murder him, or read the manga, take out his nico nico kneecaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29250951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evieonic/pseuds/Evieonic
Summary: Many people don't realize when you die, you go through a recreation process.A process to forget your past life and become someone new.This is a retelling of how that process goes.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Order Made

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't watched Banana fish or completed the manga, there are gonna be some major spoilers in this oneshot. Just so you know.
> 
> Song is ORDERMADE by Radwimps.

**_Surely before I was born,_ **

**_I was asked by someone, somewhere,_ **

He opened his eyes only to be greeted by a great void of nothingness. The sky around him was blue and the plain of grass he stood on went on for miles and miles. He turned searching around him. He didn’t know where he was or who he was, but surely there was an answer lurking around somewhere.

“Hello!” A voice… a voice of many voices echoed from a white form of a person. Their facial details were blurred and looked almost bald. They looked like some kind of spirit. 

“Hello?” He raised an eyebrow, confused. He wasn’t scared of this being, but he didn’t even know what it was or who they were. Should he be afraid?

The entity smiled, “You must have many questions.”

“I do,” He said.

“You don’t know who you are or where?”

“No.”

“Good,” The entity smiled and there was a flash as if another spirit surfaced within the entity making itself appear. But as soon as it appeared, it was gone. All he saw was a flicker of warm brown eyes, staring at him with affection. The entity continued, “Let’s begin.”

They held out their hands. In one hand, a gun appeared, the handle facing him while in the other hand was a camera. 

“ **_The past or the future - I’ll let you see one of them,_ ** ” The entity explained, “ **_So which one do you want?_ ** ”

He stared at both items, amazed at what was being presented to him. He wondered how the entity made them appear? How did they show him the past or future? 

“ **_Which one do you want?_ ** ” The entity repeated, with a gentle, patient smile on their face.

He reached out, taking a hold of the gun and letting it weigh in his hands. It was heavy, but it spoke to him. He could feel the memories resonating off of it. He wondered what kind of memories they were. 

**_And then I chose the past,_ **

**_So that instead of a strong person,_ **

**_I could become a gentle one_ **

**_And understand the things called “memories.”_ **

“That gun is heavy, isn’t it?” The entity said, “Why don’t you let me hold it?”

“Why?” He asked.

“I’ll show you the memories that you have tied to it,” The entity smiled sadly, “even though most of the memories will only pain you.”

“What even are memories?” he asked. 

“Events and feelings that have happened in your past,” The entity took the gun and just like earlier, a spirit surfaced. A boy with black hair, brown eyes, wearing a pink buttoned up shirt and jeans. The entity smiled and spoke, “They create your character. I am one of such memories.”

“Who were you?” He asked.

The entity pointed the gun at his head and smiled, “That is for you to remember,” and pulled the trigger.

The bullet went through him and memories suddenly flooded his head. Memories of a boy from Japan, smiling and laughing. He was always by his side, always there for him, giving his support. He had such a loving look in his eyes and always had an affectionate tone in his voice when he spoke, “ _ A… _ ” 

A… his name began with an A but he couldn’t remember what it was.

“Can’t remember your name?” The entity spoke again, returning to back what they were. “That’s fine. Your name doesn’t matter anymore so let’s just call you A.” 

“A?” A asked.

“A,” They smiled. “A simple name for this simple process.”

**_Next, that someone said to me,_ **

They pointed at A, pointing at each of his limbs, “ **_Arms, legs, mouths, ears, eyes_ ** ,” They listed, “ **_hearts, breasts, nostrils, I’ll give you two of each. Isn’t that good?_ ** ”

A understood what the entity said but he shook his head. That arrangement bothered A. He wanted something different.

**_But I requested for him_ **

**_To give me only one mouth,_ **

“I want just one mouth,” A said, **_“So that I wouldn’t fight with myself. So that I could kiss only one person.”_**

“Oh?” The entity smirked. The spirit of the boy from before appeared again, putting his hands behind his back and smiling up at A. “Kiss one person, eh?”

“Shut up,” A blushed for reasons even he didn’t understand. “It’s a better adjustment than what you had in mind.”

“Oh?” He hummed again, “Why do you think so?”

A shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know.”

“Do you even know what a kiss is?” The entity frowned then grinned again. Brown eyes glinting mischievously. “How about you try it?”

“Try it?” A asked.

“Try it on me!” The entity laughed, “That's the only way you’ll know if you want one mouth or two.” 

“What?! No it’s not,” A stammered, “It’s just one of those things you know- hey, stop it, don’t even think about-” But his sentence was cut short when the entity pressed his lips against A’s. 

He felt a bubbly feeling rise in his chest, and strangely enough he felt himself remembering someone else. The same man that the entity was showing. But yet not the same.

**_I want to forget, but I won’t forget._ **

**_What is this feeling called?_ **

The name of the person he loved most was on his tongue but couldn’t quite remember it. The entity pulled away and A almost was able to whisper it. But as soon as the instinct came, the memory faded away, and the name was forgotten again.

**_Looking slightly out of sorts, that person_ **

**_Had no choice but to continue on._ **

The entity sighed and returned back to his original form. He poked at both breasts of A and smiled, “ **_The heart’s the most important, so I’ll give you one on each side of your chest. Isn’t that good?_ ** ”

Two hearts? Did A really need two hearts?

“Oh, you look displeased,” The entity smirked, “please tell me why.”

“Just…,” A began, trying to think of his answer. He thought back to his past memories, searching for an answer why he disliked the idea. Something was just off about it. He didn’t want two hearts. He wanted just one heart. 

**_And again, I requested,_ **

A began to speak, **_“I’m sorry, but as for me, I don’t need the heart on the right. Sorry for always saying selfish things.”_ **

The entity didn’t look at all upset. Instead the entity began to flash different spirits in front of A. The boy with black hair and brown eyes. A man with purple hair, A shorter boy with short cut hair, and a little boy with black hair that's frizzy. Many more flashed from the entity and A  _ knew  _ he knew them all but he couldn’t remember how.

“What are you…?”

“Why?” The entity asked.

“What do you-?”

“Tell us why.” The entity repeated.

A thought for a second as he thought more about it. And then answered,

**_“So that when I meet the person important to me_ **

**_And embrace him for the first time,_ **

**_I will know our two hearts are beating_ **

**_At both sides of our chests.”_ **

A smiled as he thought more about it and clutched his chest, **_“The left is mine, so the right is yours.”_ ** He said, thinking about the boy from before with the pink shirt and the warm brown eyes. His name resurfaced and he smiled.

_ Eiji. _

**_“The left is yours, so the right is mine.”_ ** He said again, thinking about someone else this time. An old friend, a best friend, a man with purple hair. 

_ Shorter. _

**_“So that by myself, I’m missing something.”_** A further explained, **_“So that I can’t live on always alone.”_**

“Ahh,” The entity smiled, settling on a single spirit, the spirit of the Japanese boy. “Good answer…, Ash.”

_ Ash? _

**_I want to forget, but I won’t forget._ **

**_What is this feeling called?_ **

****

**_The noise in my chest is loud but somehow nostalgic._ **

**_What is this feeling called?_ **

“We’re almost done,” The entity continued, “Soon, you’ll be complete so I might as well explain to you what this process has been.”

“I can make a guess,” Ash said, remembering who he was, “I died.”

“Yes,” The entity said. 

“This is heaven?” Ash asked. 

“In a way.”

“You’re not Shorter or Skipper,” Ash said, staring at the entity suspiciously, “And Shin and Eiji aren’t dead.”

The entity smiled sadly, “A lot of time has passed since you woke back up. A lot of time.”

Ash’s eyes widened in confusion, “They… what…?”

“When people die, they sometimes go to sleep,” The entity explained, “not a lot of people know that that happens. But spirits go to sleep when they die. Time freezes for them and eventually, I wake them back up when it’s time.”

“Time for what?”

“Reincarnation,” The entity said, “This process is the reincarnation of you, Ash.”

Ash took a step back. Reincarnation? What the hell did that mean?

“You’re confused, I know,” The entity waved a hand, “Don’t worry about it, it’s not important for you to understand.”

“Why did you have to do all of this to make me remember?” Ash asked, “And why recreate me when i’m already like this?”

“Because you won’t be the same when i recreate you,” The entity explained, “A new you, a new body, a new person is being made. You won’t remember this. You won’t remember me. Or your past life.”

“I won’t remember anything?” Ash stammered, “I won’t remember Eiji?”

The entity smiled sadly, “No.”

“The reason why i have to do this is because when a spirit sleeps, their mind gets kind of groggy so i have to make you remember everything.”

“Everything?”

The entity solemnly noticed, eyes shimmering with sympathy, “ _ Everything _ .”

“Why?”

“Memories create the character,” The entity explained. “You won’t remember your memories but in a way you will. It’ll affect your life and how you handle yourself. Think of it as the memories are lessons that you’ve learned and you have to carry that knowledge into the next life.” 

Ash narrowed his eyes at the entity, “Are you God?”

“Am I God to you?” The entity asked. 

Ash thought for a moment, “no.”

“Good answer,” The entity, “I’m not. At least not in your heart of hearts.”

“Then who are you?”

“I am the people who loved you,” The entity smiled, the different spirits of people Ash knew flashing again in front of him, “and the people you loved in return.”

His eyes widened in disbelief but before he could ask more questions, the entity continued.

**_"By the way, there’s one more thing - Do you want the "tears” option?”_ ** The entity asked.

“The tears option?” Ash repeated and laughed, “I can choose not to have tears?”

“You can,” The entity smiled,  **_“There’s no disadvantage if you don’t, and some people say it’s troublesome and do without. What will you do?“_ **

Ash stared at the entity long and hard, hoping to find the right answer in their face, but they remained nonchalant. 

**_“What will you do?”_ ** The entity repeated.

Ash sighed. He knew his answer in his heart of hearts, just like he knew who the entity was.

**_And then I requested it._ **

**_So that instead of a strong person,_ **

**_I could become a gentle one,_ **

**_And understand what is "important.”_ **

“Yes,” Ash said, “I want them.”

The entity smiled and the spirits flashing before him stopped, settling once again on Eiji. He held out his hands showing four different types of tears.

**_“Also, there are different flavors of tears.”_ ** The entity explained,  **_“Choose the one you like. There’s sour, salty, spicy, sweet. Choose any of them. Which one do you prefer?”_ **

Ash stared down at them. His hand slowly reached for one. 

**_“Which one do you prefer?”_ ** The entity whispered, smiling.

Ash’s hand went toward the one on the far left. He wanted the one that reminded him most of Eiji. Sweet.

But the second his hand touched it, all the tears were absorbed by him and he felt an aching pain in his heart as tears started to stream down his face. He started to hyperventilate as memories of everyone he knew and loved suddenly flooded his mind. 

**_“Has everything been granted the way you hoped?”_ ** The entity asked as Ash fell to his knees, his body trembling as sobs racked through them. 

“Yes,” Ash whimpered out. 

The entity smiled, “No it hasn’t. You still have one more wish.”

That was true. He did.

“Will I see Eiji again?”   
  


The entity’s eyes widened slightly before they let out a laugh, “Did you really think i’d sent you back down to earth alone?” Their eyes softened, “Yes. But you won’t remember him when you do. But you’ll find him again.” 

Ash cried again but this time his tears were happy tears. 

**_“So show me your face that’s always crying,”_ ** The entity said, lifting Ash’s face,  **_“well, show me proudly!”_ **

Ash gulped down his tears and did as the entity asked, smiling as proudly as he could. **_“Thank you so much, sorry to have troubled you so much.”_ **

“It’s nothing,” The entity smiled as the world around them began to crumble away, “I hope you find him again.” 

“I will,” Ash whispered, “I  _ will _ .” 

“Will what?” A new voice intervened, and Ash opened his eyes.  _ Ash? _

His name wasn’t Ash, why wasn’t he thinking that? Lyonell rubbed his eyes, shaking the sleep from his eyes. He looked up at the blonde with brown eyes, wearing a camera around his neck. He didn’t know this man, “I’m sorry?”

“You kept saying ‘I will’ in your sleep,” The blond smiled sheepishly, “I heard you and i thought you were having a nightmare. I’m sorry.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it,” Lyonell said, running a hand through his black hair, “I’m fine, thank you for being concerned.”

“Your welcome,” The blonde nodded. He stared at Lyonell awkwardly for a second before turning away, “Well, I’ll be going then. Sayonara!” 

“Sayo-” Lyonell began to say back out of respect for the fact this boy must’ve been Japanese.

But there was something about how he said.

There was a tone of voice, maybe?

No.

Was it just the word?

No.

No, there was something about that word and the boy’s demeanor in general that sparked a memory in Lyonell. An emotion.  _ A longing. _

“W-Wait!” Lyonell jumped up, running out of the library to catch up with the boy. The boy saw him and stopped looking confused.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” Lyonell said, breathing heavily.  **_“May I ask just one thing?”_ **

The boy nodded curiously and Lyonell took a deep breath.

He looked so familiar. His name was on the tip of his tongue.

_ Eiji? _ He wanted to say, but he didn’t know why. He didn’t even know who that person was.

**_“Have we met somewhere before?”_ **


End file.
